The temperature has dropped. The shopping center parking lots are full. You’ve taken the balled up Christmas lights out of the attic. It’s Christmas time again! That means it’s time The Whore breaks out the Christmas movies, spikes some egg-nog & puts on his Snuggie.You will find no “It’s A Wonderful Life” type boring old movies here. Save that for the other websites “Best Christmas Movies” lists. These are the ones that will keep you entertained from start to finish. Some are irreverent, some are heart warming, but all are entertaining.
The Santa Clause – Tim Allen makes the transition from the small screen as Tim “The Toolman” Taylor to the big screen as a divorced man who is forced to become the next Santa Claus after Santa falls off the roof. Much to his estranged son’s delight, he must assume the role whether he wants to or not. Funny, as well as charming, this is one to play when the whole family is around.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – Probably the funniest Christmas movie of all time. There is not a scene that goes by without the viewer laughing out loud. Clark Griswold, hysterically played by Chevy Chase, is determined to have the best Christmas ever. Unfortunately, his crazy family doesn’t seem to share in his determination. If you can’t relate to some part of Clark and the Griswald clan, then you’re just not human.
A Christmas Story – One of the greatest Christmas movies of all time. How could you not love the story of Ralphie, who will do anything to get his Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-Shot Lightning Loader Range Model Air Rifle. A Holiday season at The Whore House wouldn’t be a Holiday season without this Christmas classic.
– Will Ferrell plays Buddy, a human who was raised by elves at the North Pole. Buddy decides to return to the United States to find his long lost father. Expertly crafted, this isn’t a “Saturday Night Live” movie. This is genuinely touching, and hysterically funny. One of Ferrell’s best, this has become a new Christmas classic.
Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas – If you mixed Halloween and Christmas, you would get this Tim Burton classic. Halloweentown resident Jack Skellington stumbles upon a strange and interesting new world known as Christmastown. Burton’s fantastical ideas come to life in this strange and wonderfully weird tale.
– Often looked over as too vulgar, Billy Bob Thornton plays Willie T. Stokes, a chain smoking, foul mouthed sex-aholic who cases department stores as he works as Santa. This dark comedy is definitely not for the kiddies, and serves as a welcome anti-dote to the typical Christmas shmultz.
Home Alone – How can you be a Pop Culture Whore and not love this movie? If you don’t know the story, the McCallister family leaves for a holiday vacation while inadvertantly leaving their young son Kevin home alone. Kevin must ingeniously defend himself from a duo of would-be intruders. There is so much to love about this film, from the laughs to the acting. Definitely a Christmas “must watch”.
Disney’s A Christmas Carol – Jim Carrey plays pretty much every role in this recent Disney release. Beautifully animated, this version stays relatively close to the source material, while adding a bit of padding to make it feature length. This is definitely one that will be watched annually at The Whore House.
Scrooged – A complete modern re-telling of the classic Holiday tale comes in the form of this dark comedy starring Bill Murray. This New York centered tale features Murray as a horribly mean TV executive who is visited by 3 spirits at Christmas. Dark, sinister and dastardly funny, this is one you’ll want to put on when you’re in the mood for something a little less frothy.
Christmas With The Kranks – Tim Allen stars in this Christmas tale of a couple who decide not to celebrate Christmas when their daughter will be out of the country for the Holiday. Hilarity ensues as the couple deal with their disbelieving neighbors while they try to plan a tropic cruise. This feel good comedy can be a little dark at times, so it’s probably best to keep the little ones away – but make sure you see it yourself!
The Muppet Christmas Carol – Another adaption of the classic Christmas story, this time, with the help of Jim Henson’s Muppets. A musical retelling of the story finds Kermit playing Bob Cratchit and Michael Caine as the miser Scrooge. How can you not love EVERYTHING that stars The Muppets?
Jingle All The Way – Can a Christmas go by without watching a Holiday movie featuring the California Governor? Arnold plays a father who must try and find a coveted Turbo Man toy on Christmas Eve. The plot is simple enough, but seeing Arnie in a family comedy revolving around Christmas is priceless. Mindlessly fun.
Mixed Nuts – Steve Martin plays a counselor at a suicide clinic on Christmas Eve. The staff is just as crazy as the patients themselves as we see in this dark comedy. This one is definitely overlooked all too often, which is a shame. There’s plenty of laughs to go around if you give this one a chance.
The Ref – This movie is SO funny! A burglar gets trapped in a house and is forced to hold the couple hostage on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately for him, the couple is anything but cheerful. Visiting family and a low life son only serve to complicate the predicament. This SHOULD be on your list of annual Christmas viewings!
The Polar Express
– Based on the beloved novel, this animated film became a new Christmas classic in the past few years, and deservedly so. The theme is all about the Christmas spirit and certainly delivers on that theme. The Polar Express is sure to give you a feeling of tidings and joy by the time the end credits roll. This one is to be enjoyed by the whole family.
Dr. Suess’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas – A live action retelling of the classic Dr. Suess story of the mean-hearted Grinch who wants to steal Christmas from all of the Who’s in Who-ville. The price of admission is worth it simply for the joy of seeing Dr. Suess’ world come to colorful life on screen. Jim Carrey was given a hard time for his work in this film, but it’s definitely worth it for what it is – a fun romp in the world of Dr. Suess.
If you enjoyed this post, check out The Pop Culture Whore’s 9 WORST Christmas Songs EVER!