OK so you’ve probably seen the winner list of the Academy Awards by now. But you haven’t seen The Whore’s thoughts! That’s because I didn’t have them…until now!
Hit the jump for biting commentary & hilarious musings (seriously, they’re hilarious)!
Best Picture – The Hurt Locker
Are we the only one in the world who found this sooooooooooooo boring? I mean, seriously, I was laying down staring at the ceiling because I was so bored. The other people in the theater thought I was nuts! Now, I didn’t think Avatar was the best movie of the year either. Sure, Avatar was a good movie – even a great movie. But not the BEST movie. Out of this year’s list of nominees, Precious (I refuse to use the full title of “Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire- dammit I just did it), Up or Inglourious Basterds would have won The Whorey for Best Picture.
Actor in a Leading Role – Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)
I realize that Jeff Bridges has been acting since like 15 years before I was even born, but that doesn’t mean the Academy needs to just “give him his due”. I mean, Morgan Freeman is pretty much an Acting God & he played the nicest man in the world (Jesus doesn’t count). And seriously- Morgan Freeman could star in Glitter 2 & we think he deserves the Oscar.
Actress in a Leading Role – Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)
This was a freaking category exploding with talent. First of all, you have Meryl Freakin Streep (she’s actually changing her middle name to that, to become even more bad-ass!) Ms. Streep is a walking master class in acting. Helen Mirren is another one in the upper echelon of acting chops. Gabourey Sidibe had the most heartbreaking role in all of film this year. Yet somehow…the Oscar went to Sandy Bullock? The star of Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous? I’m happy for her, I really am, but I just don’t get it. And The Whore has no idea who the hell Carey Mulligan is.
Animated Feature Film – Up
Easily one of my 5 favorite movies of last year. It was touching, sad, happy, silly, heavy and light hearted all at the same time. With every single film, Pixar knocks it out of the park. They know how to make a movie & therefore they deserve the award.
Directing – Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker)
I am so happy that Kathryn Bigelow made history as the first female to win this award. Unfortunately, I just wish it was for a movie that didn’t drive me to sleep (but then had loud explosions that continuously woke me up). If this were The Whorey Awards, Quentin Tarantino would have received the award.
Documentary Feature – The Cove
Follow me here: I think Food, Inc. should have won. Why? Because though I’m sure I would love The Cove, I just can’t bring myself to see it. The trailer with dying dolphins and a shore literally red with blood, is too much for me to bear. I really want to see it, I really do. I just don’t think I’d be able to handle it.
So there it is. Our Oscar wrap up. Tell us your thoughts on this years awards, in the comments!