13 Movies To Watch If You’re Single On Valentine’s Day

13 Movies To Watch If You’re Single On Valentine’s Day

13 Movies To Watch If You're Single On Valentines Day; image from MySanAntonio.com
13 Movies To Watch If You’re Single On Valentine’s Day

Sometimes we get caught up thinking that our friends in relationships have it so good. Then we watch the news and we watch movies like this and remember why it’s a great thing that you’re sitting in your underwear eating your second bag of chips. So be your own Valentine this year. Because remember, when you’re single – you won’t have to deal with any crap that you don’t want.

Hit the jump for 13 Movies To Watch If You’re Single On Valentine’s Day

Fatal Attraction – Men, this is what happens when you cheat. Your pet will be boiled! Just know that. Do you think it’s worth it? Little fluffy never hurt anybody. But you did. You killed him. You killed little fluffy because you haaaad to get married even though you’ve been lusting after other women. Great job! Get Fatal Attraction on Blu-Ray!

My Bloody Valentine 3D– When you date on Valentine’s Day you get murdered by a pickax. I think this is a documentary. Get My Bloody Valentine 3D on Blu-Ray 3D!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – You know how you love that person sooooo much and then you find out she paid to get you erased from her memory? Yeah, Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! Get Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on Blu-Ray!

Teeth – Guys, this is what happens when you fall in love with a girl. Her vagina chomps your weenus off. Ferrealsies. Get Teeth on DVD!

Closer – Think The Russells next door are sweet and innocent? Wait until Mrs. Russell tries to ride your significant other like a stallion. Remember, you can’t be by his side 24/7. Get Closer on Blu-Ray!

Blue Valentine – When Ryan Gosling’s onscreen marriage is falling apart, you have no chance buddy. Get Blue Valentine on Blu-Ray.

The Breakup – Yeah, even beautiful adults in their early 40’s aren’t immune to a horrible, long, complicated breakup. Seriously, do you want to go through this? Get The Breakup on DVD.

Revolutionary Road – I mean seriously, when freakin’ Jack & Rose can’t keep their shit together, you honestly think you can? And they have kids involved! Get Revolutionary Road on Blu-Ray.

Little Children – OK first of all, Kate Winslet is a horrible wife. She shows up on this list twice. Secondly, you think your wife is taking the kids for a stroll while you’re hard at work and she’s boinkin the guy at the park. Get Little Children on DVD.

Fear – You thought it was cute that he wanted to spend every day with you. It’s a bit unhealthy, you think, but he has amazing abs. Next think you know he’s carving your name in his chest. That shit doesn’t wash off. Eat another Godiva and thank Jeebus that you’re single. Get Fear on Blu-Ray.

O – You thought it was cute that he got a little jealous when your gay best friend texted you. You giggled when he texted you 11 times while you were out with your girlfriends. You were highly annoyed when he showed up at your work because you didn’t text him back. And you’re actually wondering now why you’re tied up and gagged with a sock? Get O on Blu-Ray.

Eyes Wide Shut – You just need to spice up your marriage, you say. It will be a one time thing, you say. Next thing you know, someone at your orgy has been murdered. Get Eyes Wide Shut on Blu-Ray.

The War of the Roses – You think you have it all. Perfect life. Perfect marriage. Money. Happiness. And then out of nowhere it all falls apart. Quickly. And Danny Devito will be your lawyer. Get The War of the Roses on Blu-Ray.

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Think we missed any? Tell us in the comments!

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